Name : Tan SiKai
Rank : SOLDIER 2nd Class
Birthdate : 10 April 1989
Birthplace: Singapore
Ethnicity : Chinese
Religion : Christianity
Gender : Male
Height : 167
Weight : 56
Values:
-Commitment
-Trust
-Truth
-Reason
Personality:
ISFJ (Jung Typology Test) - I-22%, S-1%, F-25%, J-33%
Explanation:
* slightly expressed introvert
* slightly expressed sensing personality
* moderately expressed feeling personality
* moderately expressed judging personality
Traits:
* Large, rich inner store of information which they gather about people
* Memory for details which are important to them
* In-tune with surroundings - sense of space and function
* Can be depended on to follow things through to completion
* Will work long and hard to see that jobs get done
* Stable, practical, down-to-earth - Dislike working with theory and abstract thought unnecessarily
* Dislike doing things which don't make sense to them
* Value security, tradition, and peaceful living
* Service-oriented: focused on what people need and want
* Kind and considerate
* Likely to put others' needs above their own
* Learn best with hands-on training
* Enjoy creating structure and order
* Take their responsibilities seriously
* Extremely uncomfortable with conflict and confrontation
Career-defining traits:
1) extremely interested and in-tune with how other people are feeling
2) enjoy creating structure and order, and are extremely good at it.
Ideally, the ISFJ will choose a career in which they can use their exceptional people-observation skills to determine what people
want or need, and then use their excellent organizational abilities to create a structured plan or environment for achieving what
people want.
Relationships:
+Committed
+Difficulty in leaving a relationship which is bad, or accepting that it's over
+Selfless
+Intimacy as a tangible way of strengthening their relationship bonds
+Warm
+Difficulty with conflict situations
+Dependable and affectionate lovers
Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, the ISFJ's natural partner is the ESTP, or the ESFP. ISFJ's dominant function of Introverted Sensing is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Extraverted Sensing.
More at:
ISFJ Profile or
Protrait of
an ISFJ
"To be a hero you got to have dreams... and honor" - Angeal
~Friends~
Wednesday, 22 August 2007
Waa.. Took a view of my recent post and they were all very depressing.. So I decided to post this (long delayed one)..
FriendsHearts
could only love
for a while
Feet
could only walk
for some miles
Clothes
won't forever
be in style
But having you as my friend
is forever
worthwhile
-Text from Xiuyi
Hmmm.. this short simple poem effectively describles how friendship is, how it can satisfy our needs and wants eternally. It says of how we try to satisfy our needs and wants in the world, but they can be just completed with friends around.
Let your friends be the backdrop of your life, for they are like angels without wings...
posted at : 18:30
~Sad..Week..~
Haix... The weather this few days is really bad. It was cloudy most of the days, the rains at night, no sunshine in the morning. Its really a dampener to my already dampened mood.
I got back the results for my physics and GP test last 2 days. It was not good. I barely passed my physics MCQ paper and I got only 27/50 for my GP. Moreover, I had my chemistry paper 3 mock test today followed by maths mock. The chemistry paper was done badly. I spent nearly 45min of my time trying out the 1st question. The 2nd question was not completed; I don't even know how to do! The 3rd question was moderately tough. So much for doing chemistry June paper on Monday...
In addition, as for my math test, I was stuck immediately at the first question. We were required to find the volume of the area rotated around the y-axis. If I were given this question last year, I would have laughed off at its simplicity. I really regret starting out late, but I guess the situation will turn out the same anyway. The rest of the questions were done with much doubt. I could only remember sketchily how to approach the problem.
Another reason for my down mood, of which I think is the most important, is the fading of colours in my world. Everything looks so dull, and everything looked so distant. Its like there is a layer of something separating me and the things around me. Things seemed to be an illusion, and there are more underneath. I feel lonely, feel so weak against the world. I feel that I am changing, no longer the happy me, but the sad me. I am like carrying a burden everywhere I go, unable to let go, but also unwilling to let go. People say: forgive yourself, I say: I cant bring myself to forgive; people say: Get up! I say: I am not motivated to. This few days I woke up wanting to go back to bed. I had to forcefully tore myself from my bed. Exercising is a chore. Everything just doesn't seemed right!
Is my life growing quieter,
or is it me that is just refusing to talk?
posted at : 17:39
~17Aug~
Friday, 17 August 2007
Today was a pretty down day..The sky was overcast all day.. The rain bashed in the morning, the cold winds blew in the afternoon..
All was not well for me.. cuz.. My rainbow did not appear before me! *sobs
Haix dunno la.. She just kept giving me this feeling that she was hiding something from me.. Think I am thinking too much.. haix..
How to say? My rainbow kind of like rejected to meet up to go home together.. She said that it'll be inconvenient for me.. But the last few times she didn't mention it, so why now?
Perhaps it was all just me and myself playing with my feelings.. Perhaps it was just me unable to accept people who are concerned for me..
But no matter what, I longed for truth.. I am a strong advocate of it.. I can forgive if you admit your mistakes, I can forgive if you feel that you have constraints, but I cannot forgive if you dun tell me anything!
Haix.. Me going dumb..
Anyway, I recently got into the mood for poems.. Not sure why, but was inspired by Xiuyi.. That was a few weeks ago. At that time I was still uncertain about my choice. So there was once during lesson where my heart suddenly burn for her, so much that I can only express my thoughts through poems. That was when I started loving poems..
Created a few recently.. just to share:
~Friends~
Day by day,
Night by night.
Seldom am I by your side.
Truth and false,
Light and dark.
Seldom do I cheer your heart.
But,
Strong you stay,
By my side.
With strength you hold this
Dropping hands.
True and ture,
You always be.
Faithful friend of good spirit.
-sky-
This poem is dedicated to all my friends!! Let us be friends forever and not lose each other =]
posted at : 22:35
~Hypocrisy~
Darkened night,
Brightened bricks.
How long can we last,
Kidding with such lust?
-sky-
posted at : 22:33
~Truth~
(In a forest)
I walked down the path.
It looked clear alright;
It was clear alright.
I walked down the path...
I closed my eyes,
Enjoying the scent of the trees,
Enjoying the sound of the leaves.
It's a beautiful journey;
It's a wonderful journey.
I walked...
Bam! into a tree.
Falling back, I came to my senses.
where am I?Looking around,
Sat on the ground.
Bitterly I cried.
Lost again,
Am I.
-sky-
posted at : 22:29
~Illusion~
A cloudy sky that refuses to brighten;
A gust of cold wind that refuses to fade.
Lost are the colours;
Lost it the blue sky.
All remains,
a darken sky.
-sky-
posted at : 22:26
~China Friends~
Monday, 13 August 2007
Hmmm just got to converse with my friend from china, Jiaqi. It was a good talk and I enjoyed it. Our topic drift here and there until it touched on BGR. After some hustle, he got the one he admired to the conversation. Soon there is a flood of his friends to the window and we were having some fun time together..
Then, while a friend of his asked for comments on her blog, that's when I realised that that person is a girl. So stupid of me. I can't even tell from her name. She was thoroughly insulted. Sad. It was the first time talking and I had stepped on her boundary. Luckily she was kind enough to forgive me of my transgression. But I can still feel that she was unhappy with me.
I must improve my chinese somehow. Such incident cannot happen again. Haix..
Just feel so depressed..
haix..
posted at : 00:28
~Cursed Being~
Friday, 10 August 2007
I look at myself in the mirror...You! Accursed Being!
Brought sin and shame to my name!
Made me lose my Righteousness.
And tempt me away from God.
How I longed
To squeeze you out,
And throw you
Into the River of Everlasting Fire.
Why?
Why?
Why must you ruin my life?
What did I do wrong to you?
You, who fear Jesus.
The more you attack,
The harder I cling.
Never shall I return to you.
Ever.
Jesus, I am sorry for my transgression. I pray for your perfection. Lead me not into temptations, but deliver me from the Evil One, that I can rejoice in Your Name. Amen.
posted at : 19:20
~Blessed Morning~
Woohoo~.. This morning was good. I went out in the early hours to jog with Dorcas and Nur in the Woodlands Stadium, followed by fetching my Dad from the airport.
I set my alarm at 5.55am just for a 7am meeting (=.=).. I thought of doing push-ups in the morning before the jog, which luckily I didn't. In the end I woke up sleepily at 6.15am, did the usual toilet-ing, and slack in the sofa. I forced myself not to sleep, just in case I overslept and forgot to wake Dorcas up (MorningCall Service =] ). So time slowly ticked pass.. Finally 6.45am! I gave Dorcas a call, and she sleeping beg for 5 more minutes of sleep (de.. 5min nia.. got difference meh?). Anyway managed to wake her up at the 2nd call. Haiz.. Dorcas is having tuition at 10am, so what to do? 7am is of all the best timing, but all of us were late anyway.
On our way to the stadium, Nur kept whining about the upcoming jog and persuading us to do other stuffs. But of course, we must be true to our word! So Dorcas and me insisted on the jog, and she gave in (wuahaha ><,). Of course, our boi-ins and toi-ins are not to be missed, although to a lesser degree (2 girls lei.. can die..).
At last we reached the Stadium. It was already 7.40am. We went around for 2 rounds (with me pausing near the fitness corner to do my pull-ups, and they just jog pass me.. chey!). After that Nur went to do her sit-ups while me and Dorcas went on jogging. Left only with 1 girl to deal with, the devil in me starts to rise (><,). Every round has no lack of boi-ins and toi-ins, and of course, conversations. Most of the time when we passed the fitness corner we'll attack Nur before moving out quickly (Victory!). At one point we even sang one army cheer (In the early morning run~..). After the jog, at the request of Dorcas, both of us did the training of the core muscles (there you support yourself with only your forearms and toes.. good stay for 1min..). Then we moved on to the side core muscles. Evil her kept throwing leaves at me while I did the full 1min while she stopped halfway. Rrrr...
That's so much for the early morning exercise. We stopped at 8.50am and reached her block at 9.10am. A bit rush for her (sorry la lost track of time.. Shh don't argue or I boi-in you..).
The 2nd part of the morning was spent in the airport fetching my Dad. Though its the same old procedure, I don't know why I feel kinda glad to see my Dad. This was my first time feeling so. Then as I looked around, I saw reunions. Perhaps I received a little understanding of family.
Anyway, it was a good morning.. Nothings like this before, but such mornings will come more often.. Love my best friends, love my family.. Each unique and significant in my life.. Thank God for them.. Bless them.. Woot! =]
posted at : 14:46
~Change of Location, Change of Attitude?~
Thursday, 9 August 2007
(left: PM Lee giving out 2006 National Day
Message
right: PM Lee giving out 2007 National Day Message)
I look at the 2 different settings with interest. The picture on the left was taken in Istana while the one on the right was taken in the top floor of the National Library Building.
With a very brief glance at these 2 photos, its easy to see the change in the atmosphere of the message. The picture on the left give a cosy feeling while the one on the right give a sense of impact. It seems to say that the previous years was aimed at giving Singaporean assurance of peace and stability while this year, the theme is visions and dreams.
Moreover, judging by the overall colour, the picture on the right was more bright. A bright light draws more people than a dimmer light. It would seems like he is saying that the future is full of hope.
With a little more detail, the left picture was taken in a room while the right was taken in an open area. It would clearly seems that the Prime Minister no longer want to be seen as taking the backseat but wanting to engage the world, to be relevant. Like a journalist, he wants to give good reports that can give hope to the nation, unlike being some top-notch investors and market observers who will lay down on a chair at their own comfort zone. He seems to be saying that he is not unlike anyone of us, but is like us, and that he understands our need and wants.
Another look at the picture shows a contrast being at the top overseeing the entire nation and being in a room with curtains drawn. He seems to protray that everything
IS under control, not by the news and the media but by his own sight. This sense of assurance, unlike the one in the room, is more tangible.
So where does all of that leave us? PM Lee seems to be trying to show that he understands our needs and wants, so he want us to listen to what he has to say. He wants to give us visions and dreams of a Singapore full of hope. With many uncertainties in the world like terrorism and changing global economy landscape, he want to protray his government is able to keep all the problems at bay. His act of stepping out of his comfort zone seems to be calling many others to follow suit, to pioneer businesses.
All of this sum up to him calling us: The world is uncertain, but I can be your guide. Trust me.
P.S. I wonder where will he present the message next year...
This article is based on the personal opinion of the writer. It is written out of inspiration and without theoretical backing nor practice.
posted at : 10:26
~National Day..?~
Wednesday, 8 August 2007
Its National Day tomorrow!!! Woohoo~ Yay!!! Holiday!! ...
This is a story of a weirdo who just won't get high on the eve of the National Day. It is a day of celebration, a celebration of joy and hope, a celebration of life, for without it we wouldn't be here today at our present level. But, unlike previous years, I just lost the ability to get "high".
Where's the spirit of the Day? Like a spirit it flows, moving through time, moving with time. Has it gone into hiding? Or has it left us for good?
The spirit of National Day is joy, hope, and life, but as we grow older, these basic feelings had lost us. Is it that we are too sensitive to them that what we feel are below expectations, or is it that we are too insensitive to them that they lost meaning in us.
Are we the cause of our own sad National Day. What does the word "Singaporean" mean to us? Just another label? Is it just strive to make the economy better? Is it all about money and studies?
As we grow, we yearn for closer and strong relationships. Only if this is fulfilled then can we be satisfied, but full of joy and life. But many of us cease to enjoy National Day together. We are either too busy or too lazy, stuffed with work or coop up at home. Isn't it weird that on a holiday many of us chose to stay away from friends and family when they are next to the most important thing to us?
You may think that the school holiday is for friends, but how many times do we find ourselves rushing to finish homework and revising than meeting friends for outing? The National Day seems to be similar to the Teachers' Day: Honor your teachers on Teachers' Day, Hate them for the rest. Like some teachers will say:" You will have a long weekend ahead of you. Please make use of the time to revise and catch up with your studies. "
How can we "belong" to Singapore? Just like any clubs and societies, being a Singaporean goes beyond saying this land is ours. It is to say that these
people are ours. We are only Singaporeans when our people are Singaporeans. It is these families, these friends that we feel a sense of belonging. Our government has done its best to bring across the feeling; it is up to us to make it happen. Come on! Get together, be merry! Cast aside worries, and replace it with joy!
Perhaps we should have a extended National Day, like Independence Month or something. Schools are forced to liven up the atmosphere and not bugging the students with work. That way, we can enjoy ourselves and know what it means to be a Singaporean.
Or we can scrap the idea of National Day and just carry on with life.
This article expressed only the personal view of the writer.
posted at : 20:41
~Later part of the day..~
Hmmm... National Day is just tomorrow, but till now, still long way the the "high" I used to have. The rest of the afternoon was spent messaging her. Wa she was so priviledge to go into a yatch for her sister's solemnisation ceremony. The yatch even went out of Singapore (cuz while messaging her the last of my messages took 20min to deliver..). So nice lo.. Wonder if they get to see the fireworks from it. If they can, then, wow, her sister got to enjoy free fireworks on her important day.
Anyway found out more common grounds between us. Both of us like those classy and romantic kind of marriage. She said that it will cost 10k to hire a yatch. Its like a bomb itself! Fancy chasing after the Singaporean Dream by terrorising ourselves with bombs. Plus the wedding dinner, the honeymoon... seems like only an income of 100k and above can sustain our lifestyle.
I wonder how does she look like right now. I saw a photo of her with her dress on and it looked beautiful on her. But, she didn't put on any jewelleries or assessories so I don't have the full idea of how she will look like today. Should be great!
Okay time to review my post. It seems to be filled with many hopes and dreams. It also reveal just how much I wish to be with her. Okay la its more moderate, but too early for a person like me. 7years down the road should be okay. I seemed to be full of praise for her. Sweetened mouth =.=..
Aiya whatever la.. haha..
posted at : 19:44
~God is Good~
(Warning : This article is a little religious)
While I was bathing earlier, I received a little revelation of God.
God is good. As my bible says, God created us in His own Image and Likeness. He is not like some floating being or unimaginable, nor is he like an alien. In fact, He is just as human as we are, similar height and feature; He walk the way we do, eat the way we do, work the way we do. He is just like any friend we know, yet closer and more intimate. We can pour out our hearts to Him and He'll understand. Just as we love our friends, girlfriends/ boyfriends, wife/ husband, we can love Him. Our needs are His needs, our wants are His wants, literally. That is why what we want from others is what He want from us. Yet He is above us, not by His fleshly desires but by His choice. He is a perfect example of how we should live. He let rain and sun come upon both believers and unbelievers, telling us to treat all as equals. Impossible to be done? He did it! How great of a human is He? Worthy is His name.
I am blessed for such a friend. Though I cannot love Him as I did to others, I pray that I soon can, I will do His biding. His thoughts and visions are far above us. That is why we follow Him. Like a true friend, ask, and He shall give. Like an understanding friend, He understands our need, but will not meet it unless we ask for it. Like a friend in need, He ask as to help build His Kingdom, as He helped build ours. Like a loving friend, He will protect us. Like any friend, He needs your trust and love; He wants to be in your world, to be next to you, if you allow. A perfect friend; Beautiful is His being.
Quite surprised at my post. The last part was just inspirational, like a revelation. Love His presence, love His being, love His all.
What A Friend I've Found
What a friend I've found
Closer than a brother
I have felt your touch
More intimate than lovers
Jesus, Jesus
Jesus, friend forever
What a hope I've found
More faithful than a mother
It would break my heart
To ever lose each other
Thank You Lord for being a great and true friend. =]
posted at : 16:53
~Abt Blogs and such~
Hmmm I just realised something about blogs: You dunno who exactly read them unless they tell you. It can be quite a problem in a conversation. This is because how much you should discuss, how you should carry yourself depends on the relationship between you and the person. Since you do not know how much they know, you can only assume either they know or they don't, and suffer the lashing later. It can either be the best secret keeper or the ultimate conversation killer. It may turn out like "Eh? I didn't know you are like that." "Huh? I thought I was always like that? I even posted it in my blog." , or "You know what? There was a time..." "Ya I read it from your blog."
But it does help for people who do not treasure memories or have good memory. It records down all your achievement (if you post them), which can be handy for interviews. All the "lost" experiences and journeys are just a click away, compared to others who have to wreak their brains to come up with something.
So the question boils down to, should we keep blogs? If so, what should we post?
Anyway looking at my last post, I feel so sad about myself. This lovely-dovey stuffs is not for me man! Love is addictive. "I miss you" "I miss you too" . Sian mushy.. (hair standing). Must fast soon one day to keep my emotions in check. But God made us emotional and we should rejoice! Haiz what to do? At least now (as in yesterday) things are not so bad. I had a great time with her yesterday and my emotions were more toned down. Still boin now and then but not like.. ahem.. Not so addicted, ya that's the phrase. For now, just be friends. Oh ya I realised after some reflection that whenever we are together, we become more of people who likes to experience things than to recollect them. Being together can either be totally fun or utterly boring. Music becomes an important connection. Weirdly, we hardly lose any topic to talk about most of the time. Still, I must find the common grounds between us to converse about, something that interest both of us other than church life (can talk until sian..Oops..)
Today's the eve of National Day. When to school, had some bit of fun, and did stupid stuffs. I think that the performances this year was not bad, and I got to see the "face-changing" chinese performance. Wow the crowds really got "high" at how he managed that. (One theory proposed by my friend is that he has a string on his back to pull the mask away from his face. He based it on the performer putting one of his hands between his back and his cloak whenever he did that stunt. But then, how and where did the mask go? Isn't it suppose to be hard that it can't bend?)
Whatever.. Now for pure stupidity.. (Warning: Eye-Burning content)
That's me people.. Haha.. Look like a girl anot? Aiya hands too fat.. Not so graceful le.. Hee.. (Why did I even do that..?)
That's the end of today's "Abt Blogs and such". Hope you enjoy. Updates soon.. hee..
posted at : 13:47
~Blessed, yet Tormented...haiz~
Sunday, 5 August 2007
Wow yesterday was a great day for me; had a workshop on interview skills in the morning, and Festival of Praise (FOP) at night.
The workshop on interview skills was fun. Before it we had some alumni sharing session. We got to converse with the scholar from last year who was planning to study Medicine, a ex-student studying Mechanical Engineering specialising in Design, 2nd yr NUS, another in Medicine again, 2nd yr NUS, one studying chemical engineering, 2nd yr NTU, and even one studying Psychology in NUS! I really admire the student, Rebecca, who studied Psychology. Of all those who speak to us (we were in small groups), she was most effective in bringing forth her ideas, and was very confident in her manner of speech. Plus, she was so chio... even Celine (my classmate) agree la! More importantly, she studies English. Oh ya before I forget, I just realised that Material Science is more of Chemistry. Looking at my Chemistry grades... (demoralised)..
Afterward we move into the workshop. There are various activities. One of them required us to write down (1) the job that we will be getting into, and (2) a job that interest us. We then had them randomly pasted to each of our backs and we had to guess them by the clues others gave. I got (1) forensic scientist and (2) (forgot). The first one was so difficult. It was made harder as we are to ask questions for clues in the form of "yes" and "no" types of questions, not be given clues. My first clue was that it has to do with biology, followed by it being some part in life sciences, some part in health care, something to do with dead bodies. Never will I guess forensic scientist! Sianx.. Another activity that we had is a mini personality test, based on the RIASEC model. My personality is EAI, Enterprising (as in I'm more of a persuader), Artistic (as I do not like conformity), and Intellectual (well..). I was quite surprised at the word "enterprising" as I never considered an entrepreneurial job. But the description of my dominant trait E was accurate.
As for FOP, well it was much better than the day before. The worship by Don Moen brought God into our presence, and the praise by delirious? lifted us up to a higher level. Words just cannot describle the move of God..
The most joyous thing of that day will be the company of Dorcas. We had a great time together. Till now I just cannot describle how we are able to talk and talk and talk. Strange, as I can hardly do that with my other friends. It was really an enjoyable time. We also had time to poke and tickle each other, and played catching with Jia Sheng (Omg catching.. haha..). Just feel so young around her, like the time has slowed, like the air is sweet. Everything is just so beautiful that I have to force myself away during service from this world, lest I lost focus of the Lord.
Yet, I know that she doesn't want to be together. She said it explicitly before. I can't just let go of this sweet-sour feeling whenever I realise that she may be just playing with me, nothing else. It really cuts me. I still remembered on Monday that I broke down because I miss her so, yet I know I cannot have her. I seeked the face of the Lord, to repent for my imprefections, not submitting my all for Him, hoping that He can fill in this emptiness. Miss her so much..
Never mind; I will discipline myself. Now is not the season for a relationship. I am not prepared for it.
Miss you...
posted at : 22:24
March 2007
