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This page contains information of the following SOLDIER member.
This is an official document generated under the provision of the Personnel Identity Act, Chapter 169 of the 3120 Edition and the
Institutional Secrets Act, Chapter 699 of the 3120 Edition.
All unauthorised use, retention, destruction, alteration or transfer of information are penal offences.
Name : Tan SiKai
Rank : SOLDIER 2nd Class
Birthdate : 10 April 1989
Birthplace: Singapore
Ethnicity : Chinese
Religion : Christianity
Gender : Male
Height : 167
Weight : 56
Values:
-Commitment
-Trust
-Truth
-Reason
Personality:
ISFJ (Jung Typology Test) - I-22%, S-1%, F-25%, J-33%
Explanation:
* slightly expressed introvert
* slightly expressed sensing personality
* moderately expressed feeling personality
* moderately expressed judging personality
Traits:
* Large, rich inner store of information which they gather about people
* Memory for details which are important to them
* In-tune with surroundings - sense of space and function
* Can be depended on to follow things through to completion
* Will work long and hard to see that jobs get done
* Stable, practical, down-to-earth - Dislike working with theory and abstract thought unnecessarily
* Dislike doing things which don't make sense to them
* Value security, tradition, and peaceful living
* Service-oriented: focused on what people need and want
* Kind and considerate
* Likely to put others' needs above their own
* Learn best with hands-on training
* Enjoy creating structure and order
* Take their responsibilities seriously
* Extremely uncomfortable with conflict and confrontation
Career-defining traits:
1) extremely interested and in-tune with how other people are feeling
2) enjoy creating structure and order, and are extremely good at it.
Ideally, the ISFJ will choose a career in which they can use their exceptional people-observation skills to determine what people
want or need, and then use their excellent organizational abilities to create a structured plan or environment for achieving what
people want.
Relationships:
+Committed
+Difficulty in leaving a relationship which is bad, or accepting that it's over
+Selfless
+Intimacy as a tangible way of strengthening their relationship bonds
+Warm
+Difficulty with conflict situations
+Dependable and affectionate lovers
Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, the ISFJ's natural partner is the ESTP, or the ESFP. ISFJ's dominant function of Introverted Sensing is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Extraverted Sensing.
More at:
ISFJ Profile or
Protrait of
an ISFJ
"To be a hero you got to have dreams... and honor" - Angeal
My relationship, an introduction
Saturday, 24 October 2009
Hmmm if you still dunno, i'm attached for 7mths already. with this girl called Xiu Wen. She was my secondary school classmate and is my cell group mate. This post shall serve as an introduction to ward of potential interviews and press conference about us. haha..
Actually between us we will agree that we could never imagine ourselves like this since secondary, until it happened. In secondary school days, we would be in our own clique and never really talk to each other. It was after she out-of-the-blue one day came to ask me to attend her church service during the year end holiday that we started talking to each other.
Before I was asked to church with her, my impression was that she's lazy. During sec 1 years she will always be sleeping in class. It's really a wonder she could get into the school's best class with me in sec 3! At least over the years she was less lazy, as in wasn't caught sleeping anymore. haha..
Anyway, so we maintained an acquaintance kind of a relationship born out of weekly service and cell group meetings. But we never really got close. During JC years we were in different schools pursuing different dreams. It was really when we went for church services on saturdays that we talk to each other, as we would meet with the younger kids together. There was fun and laughter, but it just stopped there.
It was really last year that things took a turn. I broke up with my 2nd ex, or rather she dumped me, on a very nice date, 31dec 2007. It was because my ex was my childhood flame, my hopes were high up, my vision for us clear. When it ended my heart fell sick for a long time, with excuriating pain. I decided, that no longer will I pursue relationships, but friendship. I wanted to expand my social circle, but at that time many of my JC friends were enlisted already. I turned to cell group friends, and found her.
It was the 3rd week on the Wednesday of January 2008 when I asked her and another guy, Tiong Kun out for dinner. Still reeling from my pain, I sought comfort in them. They were my distraction from the pain, and I enjoyed the time we spent. I sent her home that night, because TK won't, and from then on it became a habit.
We continued this dinner for a few times. There's ample opportunity to send her home, like after service, after cell group, and along the way we talk and talk. It's just amazing what we can talk about, or how we sustained talking and never run out of topics. Come to think of it, she made me love talking to her, and even now I believe in talking things through. Then there as she wanted to work, I brought her into my workplace. We would talk through work, have lunch together, go home together. We even took a walk from Enuos (near our workplace) all the way to Suntec! It's just amazing. I just love that friendship.
There were times when the pain was so great, but she would be there to comfort me. I still remembered the day when we went up the marsiling hill one evening to look at the stars. I broke down and cried in front of her, confessing my pain. She brought me out of it. She was really a great friend.
Then I enlisted. Still, I sent her home whenever possible. She was such a good friend to me, comfort me when I'm down, and we'll entertain each other till I sent her home.
It was somewhere in July that I found out that she had a liking for me since we worked together. I was upset of course! Our friendship was built on trust and being truthful to each other. That was how it should be, or so I thought. Nevertheless, even if she were to confess, I can only appreciate and treat her better, for my heart was still with my ex. She told me that she realised it would be impossible for me to give her my heart, and so she decided to give up feelings for me. I hated myself. I hated my heart for being so stubborn, hated myself for not knowing earlier. Who would be so nice to me? It was grappling for me, but our friendship still held on.
My heart took a year to recover. By the start of this year, I was ready to love again. Perhaps the foundation was well laid, all things were already in place. My heart felt for her soon after I got over my pain. I couldn't believe myself actually. I was like, serious!? I had never thought I would like her before!
I gave myself 3 weeks to feel it through, if it is for real or I'm just desperate. I observed her as well, to see if there could be a relationship worth undertaking. I found out that I love her character, alot. She was so selfless, so fun-loving, so truthful and pure. She was like perfect, my ideal.
I decided to confess on 7Feb 09. It was a saturday, after service, after I sent her home, and I messaged to confess (I have no balls to tell her directly... ). The following 3 weeks was crucial, for I knew I was given a chance to prove it. I was on a 8-5 course in boon lay area, and so I met her just everyday evening for dinner and sending her home. 14Feb was our first date. We weren't in BGR yet, so it's just some casual date. I treated her, brought her to movies, just like any other couples do.
It was on 25th Feb that she confessed to me. I was upset that the day before she hid something from me. I thought our relationship was based on trust and truthfulness. On trying to appease me with all the cold jokes which was to no avail, she confessed. Haha what a weird way to get someone to confess, but it just goes to show how much she like me that even though she isn't confident of the relationship, she'll go all out to make me happy.
The usual things go, where we talk on the phone till late night when I'm in camp, I'll send her home after service. Like a saying, time apart make the heart grow flounder. During the first 2 weeks of my men's enlistment, we confessed our love for each other.
Till now, we still confess our love ever so frequently, on messages or just saying it out. Our love just grow stronger and surer. Thank the Lord for blessing me with this girl..
Xiu Wen, I love ya~
posted at : 10:31
My AARM experience~
Friday, 23 October 2009
It's a long time since I last blogged. Many things happened, but one significant one would be during AARM period.
AARM stands for Asean Armies Rifles Meet. It started on 12Oct 09 and ended on 20Oct 09. It is a period where Asean Armies come together to compete to identify the best shooter in the region in these few weapon classification: pistol, carbine, rifle, and machine gun. For this year, Singapore is hosting it and my battalion has been tasked to oversee the range operations.
So, for such a big event, where do I fit in? Well, I am tasked to oversee the butt area of the range. Basically, I am to ensure the correct targets are up for shooters to fire, and since I don't work alone, am also to ensure the safety of everyone in the butt area. Sounds dangerous, but actually not, since we have a shelter to run into which prevents any round from hitting us. Very safe.
Anyway what inspired me to blog about it is, as mentioned, my experience. I had to deal with Neutral Officers who were there to ensure fair play, but during the actual shooting they were with my butt party in the shelter. Not many of them can speak english, so I didn't, or rather I couldn't so I didn't try, to talk to them. Some of my men are Malays so they could talk with the Indonesian and Malaysian Neutrals, and one of them, who likes to go Thai pub in Singapore, interact with the Thailand Neutral.
There was this very friendly Myammar Neutral who likes to talk, but because of language barrier, made it very very Very hard to understand him. It was so tough I kept hoping that he wouldn't come to the butt to be Neutral, but it's a blind hope anyway. I had to put all communication skills into play, like reconfirming what he said, speak slowly, do some hand actions.. Really very tough. Felt like giving up on him, but not very nice to. You know how life is full of these conflicting decisions? It has rewards of course. Guess what? He gave me a jade pendant keychain! It's real jade! You can identify it by holding it and it will feel cool even if the day is very warm. However, I think the real benefit is a lifeskill, that I listen instead of hear. Your girlfriend will tell you how much that differs. Haha..
After all that, here's the main point of the blog. I learned to lead. From my men's BMT till now, I had not been a good section commander. My section is worst performing, high rate of people taking medical leave each week and people with attitude problem. As a NSF 2nd sergeant, I am suppose to be an example to the rest of my commanders, but heck, look at my men. I really dunno how to lead I guess.
I tried to follow the styles of other more successful colleagues. They are more relax with the men, talk with them more, and the men really do things for them. I really admired them being able to lead, so I follow suit. But, it wasn't really my style. I really dunno how to draw the line, and nearly got into trouble with my battalion's disciplinarian. That was when I talked with my RSM and learned how to manage the men more effectively.
All these while I am waiting for a chance to change my image and show my men that I am no longer who I was before, and I am going to manage them in a new way. Previously I was on the extreme, either very harsh and punish them for every mistake, or very kind till they stepped over my head. Now I am going to lead by example, and through this motivate, encourage, nag if necessary, scold if needed, and punish when there's no choice.
AARM was my chance. I lead a fresh group of men, mixed from people in my section and other platoons. It was a new environment, a new atmosphere. I guessed that I'd set the tone right. I told them on the first day, that I will not be bothered by what they do, as long as they follow my order when I give them, put work first and never breach safety. Initially it was hard. I was not used to it, so I bothered myself with PSP, developing controlled heck care attitude. When two of my men tried to slack away, I reprimanded them in front of the rest and warned them. But for most parts, I tried to motivate them with my enthusiasm, with the vision of an end, especially when the weather is getting hot and no one feels like working. Occasionally, I would get irritated due to the weather, and got a bit snappy, but I would control it by drinking ice water, play PSP, or sharing feelings. Sometimes, in anticipation of long matches, I would buy 100plus and some tibits for them. It helped I think. In the end, we had a successful relationship as a working team.
Now as we move back to our military phase, I will be trying to integrate this style into my military life. I will commit myself to be a leader, not just a commander. I will interact with the men, share feelings, motivate and encourage. I know it will not be easy, but still worth a try. A communications lecturer said that communication skill is like a muscle, we have to work on it. Initially it'll be hard, just like lifting weights for the first time will be hard, but we'll get better by exercising it. I want to gain leadership skill during my tenure in my National Service.
Like what I learnt in communication studies in NTU (I crashed the lecture with the help of my girlfriend Xp), leadership is effective participation. I have to participate actively in my section, understand their needs and wants and build group morale and discourage egocentric behaviour. I will learn to promote co-operative behaviour, and only in emergency situation will I consider a win-lose authoritative approach.
Let me make this NS life something enjoyable for both me and my men.
posted at : 16:48
March 2007
